人生本来就该起落
可是连续性的起伏
好像过了火候
我开始招架不住
忐忑不安一直围绕我
表里不一
心不在做什么都是空白的
脑袋不断处于放空
随便说真的很简单
而离开就会等于放开吗？
当你要计算一分一毫
可以想象那是种什么感觉吗？
对！对！对！
我是要接受
不能有怨言
这是自己当初的·抉择
我又怎能否定自己吖
来人啊请给我多点粮食
我要痛快宣泄痛快吃
吃饱了再加油↖(^ω^)↗
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Notes for you-7:09AM
如果两个人一起是要取舍，我选择了沉默...
我
承认自己是懦弱的
我
少了勇气
我
被曾今拖着走
而现在才了解其实问题不是在别人，是那个带着鸵鸟心态的自己，不愿面对现实的自己
心
有点伤
不知何时开始我介意
心
有点忐忑
是因为想拥抱更多
心
不被握牢
原来是不安把自己埋藏
我很傻，当你说祝福我时，心情竟然不是种喜悦或解脱；心是在淌血加刺痛，或许不知何时起我在意了你的思绪........
p/s : You might never read thru this, yet its just a lil piece of feeling i want to Release :)
我
承认自己是懦弱的
我
少了勇气
我
被曾今拖着走
而现在才了解其实问题不是在别人，是那个带着鸵鸟心态的自己，不愿面对现实的自己
心
有点伤
不知何时开始我介意
心
有点忐忑
是因为想拥抱更多
心
不被握牢
原来是不安把自己埋藏
我很傻，当你说祝福我时，心情竟然不是种喜悦或解脱；心是在淌血加刺痛，或许不知何时起我在意了你的思绪........
p/s : You might never read thru this, yet its just a lil piece of feeling i want to Release :)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
怎么说...
有点诸事不利，太多意想不到打击，是一连串那种。短短几个月，都来回的在死亡边缘游走，连续打击，心与身都处于虚脱状态。嗯！我超想大声嚎啕大哭，可是眼泪却怎么都挤不出，别人都觉得我很自在；有点lost又觉得自己没用，怎么那么容易就被击败。搞失踪是我常做的，老是看着Whr,what,how ，不管喜不喜欢我能力上却没能做些什么。大家的关心我感觉到，可是种种压力，我已经没办法呼吸了；对不起，也请原谅我的不负责任。
发生种种事迹，心是很疲累；老是说自己很想逃，缺少了那份勇气，只因不能再逃避。我选择了面对，就像你常说，辛苦也只是一阵子。可是为啥呢，本来不该对着电话另一头哭，每次拿起手机我就忍不住稀里哗啦眼泪止不住，说好了不能哭，我却无能的又再哭。也许好听就是宣泄，或者心的压力撑过头，所以进入了歇斯底里中。我也想为了理想而奋斗，这些话怎么说才行？如果有选择谁会想把全部的话卡在喉咙不能说。谁会想要花上好几十个小时就为了生活而忙碌,为了生活而歇斯底里的告诉自己不能倒下。突然领悟了，原来人在异乡就会特别孤单，特别无助。
老爱唠叨的我，习惯把不满与不愉快一口气呼噜的说，这次却不能对别人说。精神与心灵都背负了重担，快撑不住；对！我很想说痛快的诉说，可是说了别人不懂，那又为何要诉说。本来乐观的我，就爱盲目催眠，这次为什么会有无能为力的感觉。而我是否无动于衷，说走就走.....
发生种种事迹，心是很疲累；老是说自己很想逃，缺少了那份勇气，只因不能再逃避。我选择了面对，就像你常说，辛苦也只是一阵子。可是为啥呢，本来不该对着电话另一头哭，每次拿起手机我就忍不住稀里哗啦眼泪止不住，说好了不能哭，我却无能的又再哭。也许好听就是宣泄，或者心的压力撑过头，所以进入了歇斯底里中。我也想为了理想而奋斗，这些话怎么说才行？如果有选择谁会想把全部的话卡在喉咙不能说。谁会想要花上好几十个小时就为了生活而忙碌,为了生活而歇斯底里的告诉自己不能倒下。突然领悟了，原来人在异乡就会特别孤单，特别无助。
老爱唠叨的我，习惯把不满与不愉快一口气呼噜的说，这次却不能对别人说。精神与心灵都背负了重担，快撑不住；对！我很想说痛快的诉说，可是说了别人不懂，那又为何要诉说。本来乐观的我，就爱盲目催眠，这次为什么会有无能为力的感觉。而我是否无动于衷，说走就走.....
Friday, August 21, 2009
Confession
-Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies-
I always feel rather leave it Unknown instead of telling me the freaking god damn truth. While I'm shouting saying I'm really fine do you really feel I'm telling the truth ? Sigh...I lied ! I don't feel alright at all! Confrontation always hurt, I'll lose the trust toward that person and come along with the insecure feeling. So do you really feel that's GOOD thing for me ? No Way ! I don't feel that's the right way, I wish you could just kept it all no matter what or how. The purpose is simple and easy, just don't spread out single clue to let me suspect or end up knowing the fact.
Sorry I hurt you badly! Sorry is all I can says ! I'm trying so hard to keep it away from you; but why it end up disappointed to myself. Sadly, I learned another lesson; "everything happen for a Reason" , I can't change the fact that already exist. So, let it be is the only thing i could do; also I'll need to get rid of the bad feeling and move on toward my Goals! -- Bless needed-- \(^o^)/ begging mode ~~
I always understand the theory of -Life never go easy-, yet thanks for let me know what's the important thing in my life. Even though it's kinda cranky but i appreciated everything that i been thru! I know it wouldn't turn out better, that's the decision I've earlier. Although it's wasn't a right choice, the only things i can do is clear the mess and get my ass out of the deep mud shit! I shouldn't being pulling on and off, no longer turning back and feel regret. That's the decision i've made, and i'll need to be brave and face the Fact. Good luck for myself please get up and move my butt! --again I need Bless @(^.^)@ do you hear that ?
Ehm..I know need time to digest everything single lil thingy, I'm no longer living in the wonderland anymore. However,Thank You for waking me up! Although my dream fade away, but it motivated me to make a choice. So again the only thing i gonna says still Thank You!
=) keep Silent -end of story-
I always feel rather leave it Unknown instead of telling me the freaking god damn truth. While I'm shouting saying I'm really fine do you really feel I'm telling the truth ? Sigh...I lied ! I don't feel alright at all! Confrontation always hurt, I'll lose the trust toward that person and come along with the insecure feeling. So do you really feel that's GOOD thing for me ? No Way ! I don't feel that's the right way, I wish you could just kept it all no matter what or how. The purpose is simple and easy, just don't spread out single clue to let me suspect or end up knowing the fact.
Sorry I hurt you badly! Sorry is all I can says ! I'm trying so hard to keep it away from you; but why it end up disappointed to myself. Sadly, I learned another lesson; "everything happen for a Reason" , I can't change the fact that already exist. So, let it be is the only thing i could do; also I'll need to get rid of the bad feeling and move on toward my Goals! -- Bless needed-- \(^o^)/ begging mode ~~
I always understand the theory of -Life never go easy-, yet thanks for let me know what's the important thing in my life. Even though it's kinda cranky but i appreciated everything that i been thru! I know it wouldn't turn out better, that's the decision I've earlier. Although it's wasn't a right choice, the only things i can do is clear the mess and get my ass out of the deep mud shit! I shouldn't being pulling on and off, no longer turning back and feel regret. That's the decision i've made, and i'll need to be brave and face the Fact. Good luck for myself please get up and move my butt! --again I need Bless @(^.^)@ do you hear that ?
Ehm..I know need time to digest everything single lil thingy, I'm no longer living in the wonderland anymore. However,Thank You for waking me up! Although my dream fade away, but it motivated me to make a choice. So again the only thing i gonna says still Thank You!
=) keep Silent -end of story-
Saturday, August 15, 2009
无奈着....
妈呀！心里超不平衡
那能怎样...
狠狠呐喊，大声宣泄
有用吗？能让心情平复点？
还是能把所有心里的折腾一次解放吗？
想把自己自己封锁
静静一个人躲起来狂吃狂喝
可是为什么没有一刻的宁静
难道想松懈情绪也的被约束吗
可恶！可恨！可悲的我！
挫败的感觉竟是如此无奈...................
那能怎样...
狠狠呐喊，大声宣泄
有用吗？能让心情平复点？
还是能把所有心里的折腾一次解放吗？
想把自己自己封锁
静静一个人躲起来狂吃狂喝
可是为什么没有一刻的宁静
难道想松懈情绪也的被约束吗
可恶！可恨！可悲的我！
挫败的感觉竟是如此无奈...................
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