Bullshit 篇...╭∩╮（︶︿︶）╭∩╮

好像很模糊
甚至看不清晰
以为会没事
事实却不是如此
睡不着，心还在煎熬
Ok 或 KO
连我自己都在切齿当中

想吐，每次压到心口时就想吐
完了，再也支撑不住
想卸下武装狠狠地大睡特睡
要不就了当把我给勒死
那就少烦些，多好！

我不想客死异乡
家啊！我好想你哦..
想到20几小时机程
心颤抖
是绝对不OK
只有一句-恨-

闹情绪吖...o(︶︿︶)o

我不想多说话
只想趁自己能舍弃时选择离开

也许是自己背负太多
或者是那可恨的阴影在作祟
但我还是我一贯的选了放弃

握不牢的感觉不再实在
再多的承诺只会是一次次的空等待
那我何必等！
不如踏实点离开吧！


*PMS-ing* Mode- 心情糟透了 ~~o(>_<)o ~~

失眠夜

搞不懂怎么回事
为了什么事而失眠
吼！好久没失眠了
忙碌的生活不该失眠吧
平时都把时间填的满满
回到家闲聊几下就想昏睡
可是今夜怎么会那么懒
带着臭熏熏加疲累的身躯还在这晃
像话吗！明天又要忙忙忙
我的体力怎么撑得住
完蛋啦 (⊙o⊙)
天！我怎么会不想冲凉不想睡
是小小的脑袋又再瞎搞或胡闹？
Arghhh...我不要这种日子
怎么人生都处于毫无选择中？
就连玩个抽签游戏我也会得到下下签
是注定？还是报应？
...........................自我安慰 - 想太多了
离开？继续？A or B ..... 我真的有选择吗？

Shouldn't keep thinking all this shitty thingy
....... I should go took my bubble bath ! 躲进棉被里安然入眠(^.^)


Niteee :) Adios .....

怎么说...

有点诸事不利，太多意想不到打击，是一连串那种。短短几个月，都来回的在死亡边缘游走，连续打击，心与身都处于虚脱状态。嗯！我超想大声嚎啕大哭，可是眼泪却怎么都挤不出，别人都觉得我很自在；有点lost又觉得自己没用，怎么那么容易就被击败。搞失踪是我常做的，老是看着Whr,what,how ，不管喜不喜欢我能力上却没能做些什么。大家的关心我感觉到，可是种种压力，我已经没办法呼吸了；对不起，也请原谅我的不负责任。
发生种种事迹，心是很疲累；老是说自己很想逃，缺少了那份勇气，只因不能再逃避。我选择了面对，就像你常说，辛苦也只是一阵子。可是为啥呢，本来不该对着电话另一头哭，每次拿起手机我就忍不住稀里哗啦眼泪止不住，说好了不能哭，我却无能的又再哭。也许好听就是宣泄，或者心的压力撑过头，所以进入了歇斯底里中。我也想为了理想而奋斗，这些话怎么说才行？如果有选择谁会想把全部的话卡在喉咙不能说。谁会想要花上好几十个小时就为了生活而忙碌,为了生活而歇斯底里的告诉自己不能倒下。突然领悟了，原来人在异乡就会特别孤单，特别无助。
老爱唠叨的我，习惯把不满与不愉快一口气呼噜的说，这次却不能对别人说。精神与心灵都背负了重担，快撑不住；对！我很想说痛快的诉说，可是说了别人不懂，那又为何要诉说。本来乐观的我，就爱盲目催眠，这次为什么会有无能为力的感觉。而我是否无动于衷，说走就走.....

Confession

-Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies-

I always feel rather leave it Unknown instead of telling me the freaking god damn truth. While I'm shouting saying I'm really fine do you really feel I'm telling the truth ? Sigh...I lied ! I don't feel alright at all! Confrontation always hurt, I'll lose the trust toward that person and come along with the insecure feeling. So do you really feel that's GOOD thing for me ? No Way ! I don't feel that's the right way, I wish you could just kept it all no matter what or how. The purpose is simple and easy, just don't spread out single clue to let me suspect or end up knowing the fact.

Sorry I hurt you badly! Sorry is all I can says ! I'm trying so hard to keep it away from you; but why it end up disappointed to myself. Sadly, I learned another lesson; "everything happen for a Reason" , I can't change the fact that already exist. So, let it be is the only thing i could do; also I'll need to get rid of the bad feeling and move on toward my Goals! -- Bless needed-- \(^o^)/ begging mode ~~

I always understand the theory of -Life never go easy-, yet thanks for let me know what's the important thing in my life. Even though it's kinda cranky but i appreciated everything that i been thru! I know it wouldn't turn out better, that's the decision I've earlier. Although it's wasn't a right choice, the only things i can do is clear the mess and get my ass out of the deep mud shit! I shouldn't being pulling on and off, no longer turning back and feel regret. That's the decision i've made, and i'll need to be brave and face the Fact. Good luck for myself please get up and move my butt! --again I need Bless @(^.^)@ do you hear that ?

Ehm..I know need time to digest everything single lil thingy, I'm no longer living in the wonderland anymore. However,Thank You for waking me up! Although my dream fade away, but it motivated me to make a choice. So again the only thing i gonna says still Thank You!

=) keep Silent -end of story-

Can't Breath....

Feel kinda Blahhhh due to Awful days going on and off. I'm sick with all those decision things, no matter which way i choosed someone get hurt. And seriously I want to run far away from the problem, that's me Slacker style. Create problem , run away while i lost my path; this me selfish me.
I'm type of person that always forget to look over both side, either positve or negative. I don't even have the gut to make choice, so most of the time i'll just look over negative part, end up I din't realize actually the positive part did exist. Heck, thanks to those bad attitude i end up feeling heatic, annoyed so on with pissed........Seriously, I really try hard to chg my bad attitude, yet i think i do not put much effort on it so it still coming back to me Again and again. Cursing myself for being such an idiot and stuborn, I never listen to others just go on by my way. So now i got everything, what a mess for my life, I've no success thing in life, sound pathetic uh **regret·regret**
God! Can you give me a break ? I've enough bad feeling since the moment i choose the damn place! What i want is just a place that i can get a smooth breath, no more burden, no more stress, no more Over whelming days....... So God could you take all this msg and make it come true. I desprately need to get away from those SHIT!......

p/z : I found out something that kinda insulting, i've no idea who's that person talking about yet it kinda catch my attention n stab deeply into my heart. I could feel the pain and now it start bleeding ......NON Stop!!! ...

情绪化........

心情·不对
音律·不对
好像什么都不对
左右不对称
带点不平衡

心

...负指数突然飙升

我
...要制止它再继续滋长

****************Please stop it ! *****************

Real SAD....

When the night been too long
Is there any deep thought that make you awake
Sometimes I really wanna says good bye
Eventhough nothing remaining smooth
yet I never put the blame on anyone
I rather keep everything deep inside
Shouldn't feel regret that’s the choice I’ve choosed
So I had to keep all the tear and take the burden by my own
Persuade myself "that’s not a big deal "
That's the routine things I've keep praticing
However, What happen now was way too much
IT already Totally out of my expectation
What i'm going to says is -I couldn’t take it anymore
Because of my coward, my patient, my ignorance
I feel down..i feel upset..i feel lost
In my dream wishing hard hoping much for those shitty feel can slip away
Once again the fact never lie
Looking it over and over those problem always there
It’s still the fact that going over and over again and again
Just I’m the dumb ass that ignore it again and again
Big fall from the hill down to endless road
I vanished my passionate
I couldn’t hold my tears and fears amy longerrrrrr..................................

***END***

休克一秒钟

让脑袋停止运作
过着过分充实的生活
一切变得不协调
意味把时间填上就不再感觉寂静
恍然发现其实心在无形中沉重了不少

别人都说别想太多
只要努力就够了
可是那真的够哦，
他们真的看得见，感觉到吗？
对我而言是少了分安全感
生活的保障根本让人握不牢
长大后所有的事不再单纯
要烦的事务也理所当然有增无减

这时候先·休克一秒钟
不再想太多
因为不论怎么想，怎么做
我还是在这现实世界里游走


Time to LEAVE this crappy mumbling blogie...Adios (*@*)